I know that I'm supposed to be rushing my work now but I need to rant again before I can focus. Yes, like I said, I need to consult sooyin and today I managed to consult her. My whole project was changed. What I have did are useless and now I need to do everything from scratch. I thought she will help me move on but nope, everything was changed. I got no idea if that is a good idea. Right now, im rushing against time. We got 4 models to do by 17 august. How am I suppose to do?! I feel so helpless. Whats more I'm doing concrete and I totally got no idea how to do it. All I know is that it is very time consuming. Each set of work needs 24 hours to dry before I can do anything. Seriously, I feel hopeless. I feel like giving up and just start my models using the old design. At least, I know I can get a full submission. Right now, I really got no confident. How am I suppose to do up all my graph within a week and it is not something that is right at the 1st time you doing it.

I cried infront of them today. Pk kept quiet but I know he is trying to help too. I'm feeling so unfair, unfair about why am I deserving all these. I got A for interim but what is the purpose of that when you know you are doing the wrong thing. You see. From the start I dont feel good for what I am doing. I tried to ask for help but sooyin was too busy. Elaine Pk and chris gave me assurance so i got no choice but to keep doing. I even went to find jonathan for help regarding software. Using my time to figure out and try lofting my model even though I was lost at that time. There isnt a meaning of me keep doing it anymore because, everything is useless now. It is easy to say that it is a learning process. Yeah, I'm really trying to do whatever I can but deep inside me, I felt so stress, i felt so helpless and i felt so unfair. Have I not tried enough. I'm not blaming anymore. No one is to blame. But i really dont know what I did to deserve this. Like what others always said, dont care, I just do what I am doing. But I cant. When I know I'm not on the right track, i wouldnt want to do it anymore. Please, give me more time. I want a complete and satisfied submission. I dont want my grades to be affected further. I need the grades.

I need to finish all my data, my graphs before I could start my construction. This will be hell for me seriously..