Down down down

Another day of burning midnight oil but it wasnt as productive as the other time. I agree I'm always not satisfied with my work. This time round, I'm really not producing anything. Yes I did mockups but all those are equivalent to nothing. I cant see any wow factor, I cant make out something with concept. Its really nothing. Sometimes I really judge my ability. Can I even pass without any consultations? I wanted to nap for 30mins to rest my eyes but my mind is totally awake. I cant even fall asleep. Just now after school, me and stephanie were discussing about our personality. Its seems like there's a change in the both of us. She became who I used to be and I've became who she used to be. Certainly, Both of us felt that we happier with who we used to be. We want to find back ourselves.

Sometimes we are happy, we are sad, we are angry. There's so much emotions in us. Has anyone wonders if you have no feelings at all? Sometimes I wish I weren't born with feelings because sadness often take over happiness. So what if you were once happy? Sadness will take over it after some times and the level of your happiness eventually drops. Yes, you will become happy again. To me, all these were just a cycle that goes round and round. What's more, the impact of sadness is always bigger than happiness. I'm so tired with all these feelings and emotions.

You see, I'm currently feeling so low therefore I started ranting. My mind will be so negative. I cant think of anything that make me happy. However, i think of stuff that make me felt even more sad. Maybe its only me.

I couldnt figure out what's wrong. I always chose the path that i think was right and comfortable. Am I too selfish? Perhaps I am. I'm stubborn and its so hard to change the decision i've made. Sometimes, I dont understand why do I have to be like this too. Why do I complicate things when it's so simple?

I will change. Just give me some time to understand and what I really want from me, myself.