I don't know if this is still the same. Putting all the negative things aside, putting all the unhappiness aside. Let's get back to how we are and used to be. I love this. Every single friend make a part of my life. Holding on to every single memories you guys gave to me. I'm sorry that I might have neglected you guys. But just to say, I'm still here, right here by your side!

My dear boyfriend is going NS on Wed. It seems to me like he's not going to come back anymore. That feeling really sucks! I want to spend more time with him but that's not possible. I'm only left with tomorrow. He's going to lose his freedom soon and I know that he's not happy about it! That 2 years will past very fast ! believe it. I'm right here waiting for you to get back your freedom!

A post before I go to bed.

The emo-ness is still overwhelming me.

I'm so tired. So so tired.

What are these changes for?

Was it too late? was it worthless? was it not enough?

Why do I see......................

I breakdown again, halfway through typing and got no idea how to continue.

Am i doing all these to appreciate others or myself?

Idk if I have changed for the better but i definitely know that i did more than i used to.

Shouldnt I appreciate others more than myself?

When everyone is happy, I will be happy too.

To me, this is life. It's never yourself.

Lost of words. I shall stop here!

Those words were stuck in my mind.

I know those aren't harsh words but what you really think inside.

I know and I accepted it but I really can't change.

How I wish I could just open my mouth and say something that is pleasant but I just couldn't.

Words that are pleasant just couldn't came out of my mouth and were all stuck in my mind.

I know more than anyone else that I need a change but I feel so helpless whenever I wanted to..

Not right not right!.

Everything just seems so not right.

I need to change and yes, it has proven that I really need a change.

But how. This is just me. I need a long time to change, it's not easy at all.

What's inside me, who's inside me. I need to know.

That feeling sucks.

I dont even know who am I, what to change and how to change.

All I know is just change for the better.

BETTER!

It takes a second to change yesterday to today, how long do i need to change myself to a better self?!

SUcks sucks sucks!

Some songs just speak all your emotions out as words are harder to be explained.

The feelings are still disturbing me and I can't get rid of it.

Met up with Pf, Larry, Zw, Jab and Cj.

They are the one who I spent my 5 years in secondary school with.

They might not be the one whom i pour my troubles to, they might not be the one who understand me the most.

But, they are the ones i enjoyed with!

The 5 years of friendship we have built up cannot be compared because we had experience so much things in that 5years!

As usual, i'm always bullied by them but, i enjoyed it:)

Holiday is the time we can only meet because we were all in different school and course. We hardly get to meet up.

Though I might have drifted away from you guys but dont worry, I'm back.

You guys are not forgotten.

Still my good friends, always be!

These emotional nights, I cant stand it anymore.

I can't explain what am i brooding about, what am I stress about.

Just like what JX said, ' the feeling of NotGoodEnough!'

Life, Love, Work, School, Future, Friends, Myself etc..

It's filled in my mind that is cant stop brooding about!

I really need to do something to prove that I can do it but it's just the confident i need in order to push myself.!

I need to convince everyone and including myself that I am good.

I dont want to be the one who is always hiding behind someone else anymore.

I dont want others to look down on me.

I know I can do it but what's stopping me?!

Recently, smoking and drinking were stuck in my mind that I really feel like trying. Those are what I hate the most in my life. It's not so much of smoking, just curious what's so good about it that the close ones around me are touching it. For drinking, I'm really tempted. I want to know how I behave when I'm drunk. I want to get high so that I can stop thinking about stuff for that moment. However, I know that these couldnt solve anything that I'm troubled right not. And i know I wont feel good either.

Life is really tough when you got into too much things, when you got older, when you care too much and when you think too much!

Anyway, I really thanks JX for listening to me these few days though he has his own problem too! :)

Needtodosomething!

I got so affected each time I know something about you. I'm not jealous but I felt so unfair! Unfair not because I dont have but what you did is not known by others. Will you be happy after all? do you think that you gave a 100%? Do you think that it's worth it? I don't mind of you learning but are you really learning? Do you even know what was that and how you got that? You made me look down on you! So please, dont whine, dont complain because, you got so much benefits than us!

I got so much to say just now but I think i've cool down!